Starting over (at the root of Love)

Good Morning Bloggers!


Isn't today a wonderful day to start over?
I bet everyone who reads this can think of an area of life where they could really use a "do over".  Some of us have started a diet or weight loss endeavor for the new year and need to start over.  That is pretty common.  But what about in our professional or personal lives?  What areas are you in need of either a complete overhaul or a little bit of tweaking?  In some cases, we need an intervention- like a spiritual one!


Well my blog is always about Love...the great force.  The reason we are all here...our Divine Purpose.  I knew a long time ago that I was looking for a Life Partner (husband).  I knew this person would have a Divine calling (like me) and I knew that the moment I met him, something inside would tell me that he was the one.  I have a had a few "he's the one" experiences.  The beauty of these is that I learned.  I experienced life, I grew...I matured...I bounced back when it did not work.  It's easy to do that when you have support.  So the first thing you want to know about the magic of LOVE (real Love)...is make sure you go out and share your love with everyone because when you do, that Divine Partner will be drawn to you like a magnet.


I guess I am a little bit more traditional about some things then I really knew.  It's ok if we are still getting to know ourselves...even at age 39.


I am traditional.  I believe in marriage.  I believe in a healthy and stable family structure and social structure.  I believe in people creating community and being part of a circle of friends.  I finally feel I have a really stable friendship circle.  It is helping me to thrive.  I am thankful everyday for this and for the friend who brought it to me and helped me grow it.  She and I both value these relationships, but she taught me it was ok to trust boys and let them in. I showed her that women can be like boys...they can be trusted friends.  So now we are like the Brady Bunch, a blended amalgam of characters.


My friend, we will call her Anne Shirley.  Anne and I are helping people in our own unique way and those people help other people.  This what we envisioned so many years ago when we began to reach out and offer love and help.  I think we were both very surprised when help, and other people...reached back!  We were like, wow~people care!
More women and men joined our circle and now we are blessed.


Partners
Partners are everywhere.  The word has many suggestions.  Is this a business partner?  A work partner?  A gym or exercise Partner? A same-sex partner?  A lover partner?  We do have many.  I have been searching for my Divine Partner.  I thought I had fond the one and so I moved forward to create a life with them.  Here is my story, so you can know...and this is very abbreviated:


I changed my life so I could live with him and work toward marriage.  I expected engagement within the year, a wedding by the end of the year and a baby on the way shortly after.  I am almost 40, so no time to lose here.  When it's the one, it's right...so move on it.  It wasn't right.  How did I know?  Simple- Discovery.  I lived it.  It felt "off"...I kept going...a year passed...more than a year passed....it was still "off".  My beloved seemed to be slowing down, holding back, apprehensive, lost excitement toward what we were growing, he complained a lot that I needed to fix certain aspects of my inner self before we could get to engagement, marriage and a future.  Events have a way of waking people.  I stopped and thought, "ok, hold on here.  The reason I came to live with this man is only because I saw him as THE one...no doubt at all.  We were destined for this".... and now, he is saying he is not sure about me.


There are two sides to things...it was not just him.  One my side of things, there was a feeling of being disconnected all the time.  I always felt disconnected from him, disconnected from the home we were living in and the pets we called "ours" and the bank acct "we" shared.  Little problems would arise and we seemed to not have the tools to manage to work through it.  It seemed like everyday was a battle to do simple things and so the bigger goals were not even a possibility.  If getting through the day was hard, there is no time or energy to move toward bigger goals.


These are what I like to refer to as "signs".  I am a big believer in signs and signals and messages on the spirit level.  I am a Sensitive (a sensi, my friend Steve calls it).  I am a special person with gifts that tap into the spirit world and then I attempt to help people make connections between what they are experiencing in life and what is on the "other side" so to speak.  So when these situations began happening, I began to hide from myself and my circle of friends.  as a Leo I cannot handle that I have made a wrong choice.  Admitting failure?  No way.


There is a light at the end of that sad story trip we went on there...Love cannot be hidden.  It shines like the brightest light in the Existence.  It will not be held back from sight.  People have always told me that I wear my heart on my sleeve.  My LOVE is out there...always present and visible.  People see it and feel it.  My love is for everyone, but especially bright for my Divine Partner.  I like that I have spontaneously changed terminology here.  I have always referred to him as my Twin Flame (TF).  Suddenly, in this blog I have begun using the term Divine Partner (DP).  I like it. 


The only thing to do is start over.  Create a new space for Love and believe it is there.  For example, I spent many nights at home, feeling sad and disconnected from everyone becase I didn't want my friends to see I was failing at my Love relationship.  So I turned down every offer to go out, every engagement.  Things would come up and I would sometimes go, sometimes not...depended on where me and my Boyfriend were at.  The relationship had become like the typical worldly kind and not at all like a Spiritual relationship where the two people were going to inspire others to have that same kind of great love!  We didn't have a great love.  We were fighting all the time and I was withdrawing. 


I finally accepted a friend's invitation to go to a hockey game.  I remember it being hard to push myself to go, preferring to stay home and pine away watching Twilight.  It seemed that from the moment I made a proactive decision, miracles started happening.  that night another girl friend of mine also last minte decided to attend.  We spent the evening bonding and laughing and we all had so mch fn.  Having been accepted into a new little social circle, my invitations to more things happened and these events ended up being a blast!  I began to feel better.  New friends began to check on me too and make sre I was taking better care of myself, becase I had not been.  Soon, when a crisis happened, a had help. 


It's very amazing how new friends can feel like old friends who have known yo forever.  I am going to observe that maybe we have traveled together in some way in a past life?  maybe we came here for a Divine calling?  Maybe we are together for a reason?  11:11
I am starting over at the root of Love....and this root is healthy.


Love everyone and Be Blessed,


Lilac